Odds and Ends

I got a great response from an old friend, Jen - to my last post. And my new friend Heather. I think having women around me who are mothers helps me gain perspective that I can work, be a wife, and a mother... and that I will be able to adjust my life to meet those roles. I also think they have given me permission, if you will, to make mistakes and learn as I go. I realize it is going to be a huge challenge balancing it all, but we are making small steps each day to get to that balance ahead of time. Aaron hired a full-time assistant, and in July will take his CFP so he will be done with class EVERY OTHER weekend. Whew I will be ready for that. Not that I haven't loved the freedom of having a Saturday to myself, but I will love even more having every Saturday to have with HIM. The next couple of months are going to be testing... of our balance and our ability to prioritize and as Heather stated, give some things up. Aaron will be working, studying roughly 20 hours a week for his CFP exam (they compare it to the bar), and training for a marathon in May. I will be working my normal 40 hours a week, plus several evenings and weekends through the month of may, which is our busy season at Gilda's Club for Fundraising events. At least once, if not twice a week for the next 8 weeks, I will be working in the evening or on a weekend. On top of that, I will be completing my 21 out of 39 credits for my Masters in Public and Nonprofit Administration. I am hoping to continue trucking at this degree, but also know it will be okay to take a break if I have a baby for a short period, to allow for adjustment. I continue to sing at Ada Bible every other week, so that is really my only other major committment. What can I say, we are both swamped right now. But we are making it a priority to eat dinner twice a week together, even during this busy time. And we will enjoy our weekends when we have longer stretches together. I think the reality is, if I could plan it all, I probably should wait to try and get pregnant until after May. I remember the tiring first three months of my previous pregnancy, and I was just exhausted. So if I really want to put my all into my job, and still have energy for my marriage, the honest truth of it is that I should wait until after May. Which is fine, because then I will still fit into my bridesmaid dress for Ellen's wedding! Ha. The one silver lining in my miscarriage.

Speaking of which, I went to wine club with our big group of friends Saturday night, and three of the six women are pregnant. I honestly wasn't even thinking it would be difficult to see them all together, and then when I arrived, it hit me really, really hard. I kept looking at the stomaches, at the glow they each have, and my heart just hurt. I haven't felt that for several weeks, which I guess is normal and okay, and really has nothing to do with them. I am so happy for each of them, I just realize that I would have been sharing that month period of delivery, and wish I could be a part of the club, ya know?

But I see how God works. The reality is, having a baby this July would be very hard on both Aaron and I. We knew that when we found out I was pregnant, and that is why I had a complete breakdown when we found out. I was so overwhelmed. I knew the next 9 months would be so busy, and I was just trying to wrap my mind around being tired, pregnant, and then a mother in July. Now, I DO feel like I can manage it when it happens. We will be ready. And we're doing what we need to do now to prepare. We're working on balance.

:)