Decision time!

So Aaron and have been talking about our "procreation" outlook from here on out... since we weren't planning on having a baby and then we were having a baby and got used to the idea, and now once again, we're not having a baby, should we try again? The idea of "trying" for both of us brings on a sense of pressure... almost like adding something to our "to-do lists" which we both know are too full as it is. The idea of setting up times to have sex, when we aren't to the place of "having to" do that, seems... well contrary to intimacy. I know for friends who have struggled with fertility issues, this is a MUST. But we haven't. We've just miscarried. And so we just ask ourselves, "What now?"

Lindsay made a great suggestion: why don't you refrain from "trying" and also refrain from "not trying". Meaning... have sex when we want to without using any form of protection. That way, when it happens, it's really in God's hands. Not that it isn't anyways... but obviously we'd really be leaving it up to Him. During a discussion over good wine and beautiful plate of fish at Bonefish... we decided. That's the plan. Thanks Linds...

Now I just have to wait out my body... the hormone craziness and the acne and the bloating and cramping. It's like my body is trying to get a period, but cannot decide " Do I want to or don't I?" Hmmmm.... my co-workers laugh as I fan myself like a menopausal woman all day long. Extra strength deoderant is just not cutting these hotflashes. I look forward to getting my normal, albeit slightly abnormal, body back! And once all of this calms down and I have one good period (so the doctors recommend) then we're up and runn'n again. And then, it really is just a matter of time.