Grateful.

Aaron and I talked a lot this past winter about expectations. It's true. The reality TV, the romantic comedies, they get to you. They set up this ideal of what a relationship, a marriage, should be. They don't show the in-between. But the funny thing is, they are also missing some of the best parts - the "coming back" and the "refreshening" after hard times.

It's not like our times have really been hard. What our times have been is really just a shift in expecations. Mainly mine. I have stopped thinking, "He doesn't care about me" when he leaves his towel swung over the top of the shower, knowing I am taking one right after him. Today, I just looked at it and laughed. He is clueless sometimes... but it is silly to get worked up about this kind of stuff. It's not about me. And he may never change where he hangs his towel. Who honestly cares?

And I have started to really enjoy my alone time while Aaron is studying for his CFP. I am reading a really great book. I've been planning our trip to Italy - yes - we are actually going! I can hardly stand the excitement. Aaron says I have been happier since we decided to go to Italy. He's probably right. It's something to look forward to knowing that this fall we will start that process of "trying to have a baby"... albiet maybe a bit earlier than we'd like to. We're enjoying this space of going out for a glass of wine at Green Well when the mood suits. But my doctors said we need to "get started soon" if we want to have children, given my history with Chemo. So we're taking that crazy trip we wanted to take before I got pregnant in November. The one we'd been saving up for. We want to be able to say that before we had kids, we really enjoyed ourselves and took opportunities and moments. So it goes...

I think I have mostly been happier lately because I am really grateful for my life. My job. My home. My husband. All of it. I am incredibly blessed. There are certainly stressors and frustrations and chaos, but on the whole I have these moments where I simply reflect: How did I get here? I am truly married to the man of my dreams - even with his towel-hanging habit. :)